Unfiction is dissecting it here. As always, YouTube version compliments of Cloverfield Clues.

Here's a transcript from eliwein in Unfiction:

JAMIE: Hey Teddy. Uh, well, you haven't called, you haven't written, I haven't heard from you, probably in about a month, so... today's December 9th and I'm gonna open your gift. I wanted to do it over the phone with you, but you haven't called, or responded to any of my text messages... pretty much, completely disappeared from my life. So, I'm gonna open my gift, because I gave you my word, that I would wait, and here we go! [Takes off gift wrapping.] At least you're good at wrapping...[attempts to open box.] This needs scissors... Uch... [slices open the box.] You can't even pick up the fucking phone and let me know anything? [Takes out a Slusho! hat, and puts it briefly on her head.] Thanks, for the hat. [Throws hat away.] You know, most people send jewelry. [Takes out a small packet.] (sigh) "Primary Evidence. Freeze ASAP. Jamie, don't eat this." [Throws away packet. Takes out a tape recorder and presses play.]

TEDDY: [From tape recorder.] Jamie. Listen to me. Alright, this is not a joke. If you're hearing this before we've spoken, then it means that I've been captured by the company called Tagruato. Okay, TAG-RU-ATO. Now listen. You... this is important. Don't call the authorities. It'll screw everything up. Just sit tight and wait to hear from Randy, he knows to call you. We're on their station, okay, and it's like they've found something? Or they're making something, but-- but the point is, I can't-- I'm not gonna be calling you again, you're not gonna hear from me again. I just want you to wait for Randy. He will explain-- [Jamie stops tape.]

JAMIE: Oh my God. Oh, my, God. You know, Teddy, if you were seeing someone else, all you had to do was tell me. Like a man. You know, I'm not playing your stupid games anymore, you're a prick, and I am done.